Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Stand Still

Stand Still and listen to the gentle breeze, enjoy the smell of the fresh cut grass, notice when the flowers bloom, leaves start to turn, and the air turns crisp. 

Stand Still and look your husband/wife in the eyes and say more than just I love you.  Say, "I adore you."  Say, "I'd move mountains for you."  Say it so he/she believes it. 

Stand Still and let your children run circles around you
Stand Still and enjoy the smile of your grandparents
Stand Still and take in every moment
Stand Still and believe that God is in every moment.  Take the time to really feel Him. 

Way too often we are busy with the hustle and bustle of life...get here, go there, do this, do that....the list goes on and on and on and on...

I have learned the hard way that the ONLY way to get "it" to get the "balance" we all are so desperatly running around trying to find, is to Stand Still and seize every moment to tell, no, to SHOW your loved ones how much you love them.  To show your children what a good person is.  To Be the best mommy, wife, daughter, friend, sister....just STOP and Stand Still, because Time waits for no one.

I will miss you, my children will miss you, our mother misses you, your husband misses you, our father misses you, our brother misses you, and your SON misses you.

Life has forever changed, "normal" is different.

I vow to Stand Still and not miss anyone anymore...I will teach my children about you, I will remind your son about you, I will love your future grandchildren like my own.  I am a pitful replacement, but you would do it for me...so rise to the occasion, I will...

I love you

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Miracles

It has been a while since I have written on this blog, but please just know that I only blog when something happens that SCREAMS, "GOD DID THIS!"

Some may know that almost five years ago I had a miscarriage.  It was a set of twins, I was heart broken.  To make a long story short, I now have Gavin.  He was conceived about a month after the miscarriage.  During the ordeal, I prayed a simple prayer, "God please don't use me and this miscarriage because someone close to us will go though this too.  God, I don't know if I am strong enough to handle that."

Well the Lord doesn't answer every prayer, he did use me, but he also vindicated my twins...how?  Sit right there and I'll tell you.

Two close friends of mine had multiple miscarriages.  One of the women was of super strong faith, and began to question her faith...she turnned to me, and I had to respond.  You see, when I miscarried, Matt said this to me, "Faith is being able to stand when you don't understand."  He was my rock and I learned so much from him.  I knew that God had directed him and I now had to help my dear friend.  You see, once you lose a baby, you feel for each women that also loses one.  But with this friend, I felt the sting over and over, and it was painful.  I could only imagine her hurt and dissappointment.

Well, after three miscarriages and heartbreakes, she is now pregnant with not one baby but two!  That is right, she is having twins.  I am so elated for her and her husband, and feel so close to these little babes already.  Vindicated!  My little ones are vindicated through her children.  I know it sounds strange, but i feel a connection to her and these babies. 

God is good, and has a reason for all our heartache and pain, remembering He is there and has a purpose is a wonderful thing.

You see, my friend was able to remain very faithful through this journey.  I didn't say she didn't get mad, but she has always been able to give the glory to God.  We should all learn a lesson from her.

Please keep this woman and her family in your prayers...she is only about 6 weeks along, so it will be a long and winding road.

Thanks be to God!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Just One, Please

"Just one please"

I love to say those words to a hostess at a restaurant.  I don't mind eating alone, actually today it was quite a surreal experience.  (However, today I was with Emmett, but I am not sure a 7 week old counts for much company in a busy restaurant).

I went to cracker barrel for lunch today, by myself, that's right just one, just me.  I am not sure how many of you have ever taken yourself on a "date" but you should give it a try.  It is the only time I am able to enjoy HOT food and not worry about who has to potty, if everything is cut up and pray that no one spills their drink.  Now, it is nice to go on a date with my husband, but not having to have a converstaion and just being able to observe everything around me is amazing.  Today was no exception.  I honestly believe that God wanted me to see people the way He sees them, the way He made them...glorious and in his image.

As I gazed out the window, just past my infant sons profile, I saw an extremely elderly couple crossing the snow covered parking lot.  She was in better "condition" than he was and so she was assisting him accross the snow.  They NEVER stopped smiling.  She was so tiny, short in height maybe 5 foot (that is giving her about 3 inches too much I think) and her husband was well ove 6 foot.  So you can imagine what they looked like with her helping him.  Then out of the blue a young man offered his help and the three of them walked arm in arm accross the snow with huge smiles on their faces.  They chatted and smiled the entire time.  It was so pleasant to see. 

My ice tea came to the table and as I reached for the sweetner (I prefer sweet n low) I heard a gentleman next to me talking to his friend of several years.  They were so candid, talking about their grandchildren and great grandchildren...talking about Christmas and the past Holiday.  Then I heard this man say something that made me giggle and gaze at him in complete awe.  He said, "So the other day on Facebook...."  I didn't hear much past the part about Facebook....REALLY you are at least 80 and you are networking on Facebook!  God is so wonderful.  I just couldn't hardly believe it...wow.

Not only were converstations intersting, but I really believe that God wanted me to SEE everyone the way he sees them, the way he made them.  I saw a nurse on break from work eating by herself...and when looking at her it was a sense of calm that came over me.  She was a good nurse, one that cared about her patients.  As a matter of fact it was written all over her face, her emotions played out like a movie in her eyes.  She was kind and thoughtful.  Then there was the middle aged couple that sat right infront of me.  They both took notice of Emmett and smiled quietly.  No words were exchanged, yet she met my eyes and a love poured out from her.  I could see the depths of her love and feel her motherly instincts.  He had his back to me but, would make an effort to look at Emmett on occasion. ( Emmett never woke up for this outing, so he wasn't drawing any attention to us).  However, this gentleman was so considerate, he made sure not to bump into Emmett and pulled chairs out for his wife, when she stood to go to the ladies room so did he. 

my senses seemed so intense.  each murmmer, i heard as plain as day.  the fire burned crisply in the stone hearth.  outside the snow was fresh and soft.  The environment inside was almost unlike anything I have ever experienced.  As I looked at the individuals seated near me, I found my self wondering what they were like as children, as infants, what their mothers looked like, what their stories were, what their joys and heart breaks were....

So, I challenge each of you to take yourself on a date and just simply enjoy being around God's greatest creation...US.  We are so unique and yet so much the same. 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Finding Strength in Him

There are two major "HIM's" in my life.  The first is my God and the second is my Husband.  Now, lets take a look at the two of them...I think you'll find this interesting.

Blessed is how the Lord makes me feel.  Each time I delivered a child He was there...not once was one of my deliveries "normal".  To elaborate, but not tire you all of baby stories, I'll give you the shortened version.

First there was Jack, an emergency, we almost lost him, and the Lord was there, He worked through those doctors and nurses and saved our first born.  Matt was a wreck, I have pictures and stories that tell exactly how he felt...

Gavin was next, he was not drama but I was, I had difficulty and my heart rate bottomed out...God was there and Matt was as well.  That day I felt the Lord work and so did my husband.

Emmett, our newest little suprise.  A suprise that I was pregnant and a suprise that he decided to come 5 weeks early!  God worked again and our baby boy only had to spend 10 days in the Special Care Nursery.  God's finger print was all over Emmett. 

Emmett is where it brings me to Matt.  It feels like a year ago that I was stressed out about leaving a baby at the hospital and yet having two boys at home to raise and maintain their daily schedules. (but it was only 3 short weeks ago) To put it bluntly, I felt like a failure.  My Jack adjusted well, but when he said to me, "Mom, it's ok if you wanna be with Emmett.  I like going to visit all different people."  I lost it.  How wonderful, he gets it, he understands, but at the same time I was letting him down.  I wasn't doing his homework with him, I wasn't there to give him a bath at night, and each morning I was rushing around just to get him out the door and get on my way to the hospital. 

Gavin adjusted differently.  He didn't like me being gone, he missed me and he told me about it.  But he also understood.  We had spent every day toghether planning on Emmett's arrival in December.  This early arrival put him in a bit of a quandry.  But he adjusted well too.  Thanks to my Husband, our children adjusted well. 

He is my rock, through him I see Christ.  I see how God wants us to be and I see that Matt is my rock, just as God is my rock.  I found that Matt always had the right thing to say.  (Trust me when I say that this HAD to come from the Lord, because Matt usually doesn't say the right thing at the right time : )  He never sighed when I called and was leaving an hour later than we had planned.  He never got angry that he was having dinner without me.  He drove an hour to the hospital to hold Emmett for 30 minutes and then headed home to our older children.  He was and is still amazing.

God knew all those years ago (almost 16 years now) that I would need a man like Matt.  I would need a man that could be strong, solid, and God fearing.  God knew that I would need a man to hold my hand during 3 c-sections and comfort me with his eyes.  God knew that I would need a man to tell me to be positive...and buck up, we are all going to be fine.  God just knew. 

I thank God for Matt each day and night.  But I wonder if I tell Matt enough how loved he is and thank him for all he did for me and continues to do for me.

Ladies, if there is one thing you need in your life it is God, if there is two it is a "Matt". 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Jumping on the Band Wagon

Good Morning
Well, I have offically decided to jump on the blogging band wagon.  If for nothing else than to express myself and share my "deep" thoughts with the rest of the world.  Isn't that what I am susposed to do?

Pure and Simple is the title of this blog, why?  Because, Matt and I promised to keep our lives Pure and Simple when we got married.  So how have we done?  Well, we have three boys, all of which were drama at birth.  Jack who is almost 6 is a wonderful helper and simply a magnificiant child.  Gavin, 3.5, is a spark plug of a child, he has such a strong will and a firey spirit, I know that one day he'll move mountins.   He keeps us on our toes and I have learned so much from him.  Patience is one of the first traits that Gavin is teaching me.  I am sure you will read a lot about him on this blog : )

Now Emmett, our newest addition, is only 3 weeks old.  He decided to join us five weeks early.  He was so small that Matt and I didn't know what to do with him.  How to pray, that is what Emmett taught me.  Matt and I hit our knees so fast I am sure the dr's heads were spinning.  Emmett only had to spend 10 days in the Special Care Nursery, and for that we are thankful.  He is growing very quickly and we can't wait to update everyone on all his progress.

So Pure and Simple...we are busy, we run around crazy on a daily basis, and we sometimes forget to kiss eachother goodnight...but at the end of each day we all gather around the table for dinner (of course there are spills and the never ending, "Mom can you get me some more milk?" But we are together.  We try each day to center our lives around Christ, and Matt challenges me each day to be a better person by being a better Christian...I am learning.  So Pure and Simple it is, our little country life with three boys, two dogs, numerous cats at any given time, and two fish.